Accountability: Working with a net

To do life without some people you are accountable to is like walking a high wire without a net. I recently had someone ask me about the accountability group I meet with regularly and make a few suggestions here on the blog.

When I came to ClearView as pastor I asked the males on the Search Team to stay on to serve as an accountability group with whom I could meet once a month. I am so grateful to these men. They probably didn't expect to still be meeting with me monthly almost 2 years later, but they have remained faithful to do so.

This accountability group is not typical in that it is not technically mutual accountability. I am accountable to them, not vice versa. I ask them to feel free to ask me about any area of my life, personal or professional. They ask and I answer. Because of the wisdom and leadership of this group, I also take advantage of them as a sounding board. If I am wrestling with especially heavy decisions or decisions with widespread impact, these men are some of the first to hear and give me sound and honest feedback. We always end the meetings with them praying for my family, our church, and me personally.

I will say it again: To live life without making yourself accountable to a group of same gender peers is like walking a high wire with no safety net. Men, this is especially true for us. Satan's arsonal is too large and we are too vulnerable without it.

Suggestions:

1. The group should be no larger than 5. If the group is larger than 5, the depth of the relationships will not be what they need to be to develop the trust level needed.

2. Commit to long term. Trust takes time to develop. You will find the conversations don't begin to get below the surface until the group has been together for at least a year.

3. Please choose godly and spiritually mature group members. Don't cheat yourself here.

4. Be real. Be transparent. Be honest. Or don't waste your time. If you are not going to be forthright and truthful, it's all a game.