Most Important Leadership Skill

Leadership development has been a passion of mine for years. I never gave it much thought until early into my first pastorate. It was then I learned if I could not figure this part out, I would not survive long as a pastor. How do you organize people? How do you motivate them? What is a strategy ... really? Vision? Mission? How do you get everyone (or at least most) going in the same direction?

Well, I became obsessed with the subject. One book led to another. One conference seemed to more conferences. Not long ago, I tried to count how many books and conferences and seminars and leadership groups and mentors and ... I had gone through over the past 20 years. I gave up. Ad nauseum is an accurate count.

After all of the training ... more than that, after 20 plus years of leading various organizations, I have come to one conclusion. The most important leadership skill is (drum roll please): Relationship skills.

I know, I am a slow learner. We spend so much time on mechanics ... strategy ... vision ... budgeting ... planning (short term and long term) ... execution ... organization. But if you can't do healthy relationships, none of the above will matter. And yes, this is especially true in churches. It is all about the people. It is imperative you learn to work with and through people if you are going to see disciples made (the mission given by none other than Jesus Christ Himself).

So, we learn to forgive. To let go of any prejudices and stereotypes that would hold us back. To communcate. To speak truth in love. To listen more than we speak. Never gossip. Be patient. Kind. Honest. Trusting. Keep no record of wrongs. See the best in others, not just the worst. Not be petty. Encourage one another. Pray for one another. Carry one another's burdens. Support. Treat others the way we would want to be treated.

Recovering Church Growth Addict

I have blogged here on my reasons for returning to the local church. But one thing is certain. I did not return the same guy that left the local church 11 years ago. When I left the local church I was consuming every church growth book I could get my hands on. I still have the inflated library to proove it. I learned much that is helpful to me to this day. However, I have had a definite shift in my thinking about leading a church. Here are some random thoughts I have had in this area.

From outside in to inside out. Much of what I learned about church growth was what I would call an outside-in philosophy. It felt like "throw as much mud against a wall and see how much sticks". So, we would mass market (meaning much money for slick mailouts). Well, you could not market without something to market. So, we spent much time coming up with cool sounding / marketable message series and titles (I knew we had gone too far the Sunday we had a female in a bathrobe in the drama). Did big productions. Created as many programs as possible that might appeal to the community. Researched "felt needs" and created even more programs to meet these needs. We did anything we could to draw a crowd of people. Looking back, I can see the army of people it took to keep all of this in the air and the enormous energy and time it required. [Oh yeah, we did increase the number of people attending our church dramatically over these years]

Then I look at Jesus' ministry and I see that every time the crowds began to get big, He threw out a challenge that He knew would chase many of them away (see Matthew 8:18-22 as one example among many). His mission was not a local one. It was not a mission to only a few. So, what was He thinking? You would think with only 3 1/2 years to get this thing off the ground Jesus would have wanted as many as possible following "the Way" (see Acts 9). When Jesus ascended to Heaven, there was only 120. But because He built a solid foundation the early church was able to grow not only by addition, but exponentially.

It was an inside-out strategy. Rather than creating as many programs / strategies as possible that would bring in as many people as possible, hoping many of them will stick ... it seems healthier to grow as many radical Christians as possible, to send them out into the marketplace where they come into contact with thousands every week that do not know Christ. If they are radical about their faith, they will not be able to do anything but spread it to those around them. Thus allowing for exponential growth rather than growth by addition.

But therein lies my challenge. I am an impatient person. Will I have the patience to spend the time to grow radical followers of Christ? Or will I give in to the pressure to "grow a church" faster and revert to "whatever it takes to get them in the building"? I know I'm older now ... and I believe more patient. I do believe if we had radical Christians making up our churches, we could not build building fast enough. In fact, we could stop building buildings and just meet in the stadiums that sit empty every Sunday.

Don't get me wrong. The Church Growth Movement brought some much needed change to the Church. We were out of touch with the world around us and very much ingrown and focused on our own stuff. We were simply walking through the motions of our traditions in many of our churches. The Church Growth Movement woke some of us up in ways we needed to be awakened. I am grateful for all I have learned from these resources. We do need to make sure we don't erect useless and even harmful barriers due to our church culture and traditions. We do need to be aware we are ministering in the 21st Century and not 1950. That does and must impact what we do and how we do it. But I have a desire to build up a body of believers that are radical about their faith and who take it to the streets every day to the people God constantly brings across our paths.

I am not anti church growth. I do believe a healthy church will grow numerically. I am for making disciples who make disciples ... whom God can use to grow His church. As I have said in the blog before, churches don't reach people. People reach people.

Why didn't anyone tell me?

I experienced some of the Nashville area's best dining this morning. Today was my first visit to the Loveless Cafe on Hwy. 100. And it won't be my last. But why hasn't someone told me about this place before now? I recommend you have a party of at least 4 and get the family style breakfast. Those biscuits are to die for!

I really have to get out more.

I don't want to be good

We rotate who brings a thought from God's Word each week at staff meeting. A few weeks ago John Duval brought up a thought that has stuck in my mind since that time [that's me to the left ... pondering]. Maybe because it was something that challenged me to the core of who I am. John's challenge was that we would be Godly and not just good.

I thought back to my childhood. I was a good kid. I didn't cause my mom and dad any (OK, much) trouble. I was always the teacher's pet. I usually won the sportsmanship award in whatever sports league in which I played. I even said, "Yes Ma'am" and "Yes Sir". [For those of you that may not know, that is the way those of us with manners refer to people who are older or are in a position that is to be respected. This is now a foreign concept.]

But it is this "goodness" that can get in the way. It can get in the way of our desire to become Godly. If we are not careful, we can settle for being good and never make it to Godly. One area this has really challenged me is raising children that are Godly and not children that are good. This was an area in which John challenged us. My girls are now in college. Much of their "raising" is behind us. I am grateful they have turned out to be godly girls, but I'm sure that is more attributable to God's grace (and their mother) than any intentionality on my part. I wanted them to be good. If they were good, they would not be an embarassment to their mother and me. If they were good, they would have a better chance of pleasing their teachers and thus (in my mind) have a better shot at doing well in school. If they were good, they would be liked. If they were good, they would have good friends. On and on the list goes.

But if they were Godly? If they were Godly, they would be all of the above, but more than that. They would be people who would seek God with all their heart, mind, and strength. They would love Him and serve Him above all. They would passionately worship Him.

I thank God for Godly girls, but I wonder what would I have changed about my parenting with this thought in mind 15 or 20 years ago. How would the conversations have changed around the dinner table if I were more focused on raising Godly kids than raising good kids?

Actually, come to think of it, being good could be the very thing that puts some people on the fast track to eternity in Hell. Jesus said in Matthew 7:21-23 21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord!’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but [only] the one who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to Me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in Your name, drive out demons in Your name, and do many miracles in Your name?’ ["We were good!!!"] 23 Then I will announce to them, ‘I never knew you! Depart from Me, you lawbreakers!’ [Ooops!!!]

I don't want to be good. I want to be Godly!

The Masters - shameless hint

Class. Tradition. Amen Corner. Augusta National. It's The Masters. A golfers paradise. I don't have a bucket list. I don't have some list of "things I want to do before I die". Honestly, I have had the privilege of doing most things that would go on the list anyway.

BUT, some day, before I go home, I will walk that magical 18 in Augusta.

[You would think a Pastor could get a break :-)]

Go Tiger! Show them (again) why you are already the greatest ever.