OK, no snickers out there. Yes, I do something dumb most days ... but ...
Ever do something and as soon as it's done you think, "How stupid was that!" Well, today was one of those days for me. But what makes this even harder and more complex is that in the process I hurt someone that did not deserve to be hurt and I never intended to hurt.
The details of the event are private and there is no need to go into them. But the big picture is that I said something that got back to the person I was talking about that hurt them. The dumbest part of the whole thing was that I did not really even mean what I said. I apologized as soon as I heard of the hurt I caused. And this person graciously forgave me right away.
I have been sitting in my office the past hour or so (since the incident) unable to focus on the message for Sunday (Thursday is study day) because I just can't get this heart-sick feeling to go away. So I thought I would take a few moments and share some of my take-aways on this and hopefully help prevent you from being as dumb as I was today.
1. Words are powerful. Be careful how you use them. James warned us of this.
James 3:5-6 So too, though the tongue is a small part [of the body] , it boasts great things. Consider how large a forest a small fire ignites. 6 And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among the parts of our [bodies] ; it pollutes the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is set on fire by hell. I was careless today in my choice of words.
2. This one is for Pastors: We are to be most careful. I sense today that the hurt I caused was multiplied because this person is a part of the congregation for which I am given responsibility to love and shepherd. Today was a warning shot into my life as a Pastor that I am to be especially careful in this area. It seems my words are weightier in people's lives ... the good and the bad. All of us have the power to build up and the power to tear down, more especially for Pastors. In the very same passage James gives the warning above, he begins that chapter with these words:
James 3:1 "Not many should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive a stricter judgement". As a Pastor, even casual conversations are being measured. That's not a bad thing, just a fact.
3. Technology is not the best way to communicate. Yes, we use it as naturally as breathing these days. But we still cannot communicate emotions and feelings as well through any form of technology as we can face to face. Nothing can replace face to face communications. My blunder was made via technology and it magnified the issue.
4. I am grateful for mature followers of Christ who can demonstrate grace. This person today was quick to forgive me, though I did nothing to deserve forgiveness. Grace. What kind of world would this be if there was never any grace extended? What kind of church would I be a part of if we did not extend grace. Not everyone gets this. But I thank God the person I offended today does.
Part of what has gone through my mind over the past hour or so is: To whom do I need to extend grace?
May this be a reminder: Think before speaking or typing. Guard your tongue and your finger tips on a keyboard. My mom always told me if I could not say something nice, don't say anything. Again, Mom was right.
You can't avoid hearing about it: the recession. Radio, TV, news web sites ... it's everywhere. Banks going under. Major companies folding. Massive unemployment. Record foreclosures. On and on the list goes.
